What’s Your Wifi?

One Halloween in your mid-twenties, you accidentally host a party. You tell a few friends to drop by who tell more than a few people you don’t know and by 10 o’clock your house is full. Last to arrive is a woman whom you only recognize from Instagram, a first for you-to know exactly who she is while she has zero clue who you are.

You’ve learned the term ‘influencer,’ not yet a cultural phenomenon in Boston where you most recently lived because Boston isn’t trendy, just old. Now one said influencer stands in your living room.

She scrolls through her phone while the two of you are introduced and the whole encounter seems unnecessary since you already have a fully-formed and curated opinion of who she is (this isn’t something you’re proud of) and she doesn’t seem to care who you are.

Briefly, she glances up, “What’s your Wifi?”

This is when you know. This app is changing things. She has disregard for you. You have only judgement for her. 

And it’s unlikely that either of you will ever know how wrong you are about each other.